Since I've been gone…

The Lies I Believed in High-Control Religion

Here are some of the lies I was taught and believed for far too long:

• I was less of a person until I got married and had children.
• As a woman, I could never wear pants or cut my hair.
• I could not wear makeup.
• I could not date—I had to wait for “the one” God supposedly chose for me (to this day, I still don’t know what that meant).
• I could not watch TV or movies, or even go to a theater.
• I could not pursue a college degree, because it would interfere with church attendance.
• I could not go to doctors when I was sick—I was supposed to let God heal me.
• I could not have friends outside the church.
• I could not have a close or loving relationship with my family, because they weren’t “saved.”
• I had to give a set percentage of my income to the church every month.
• I was a terrible person. God’s love was conditional, only if I was perfect.
• I was still damned to hell—even though I was “saved”—because we were never good enough.

These lies caused deep harm and confusion. We were held to impossible standards, expected to be happy while living under strict control.

How have you been controlled by the church? I’d love to hear your stories in the comments.